he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize