Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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