So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
