Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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