That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
