Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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