Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
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