im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
