We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
