Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
