omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it's great music for shaving your balls
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
