i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
they're like a gay fantastic four
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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