i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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