Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
