He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
