So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
