I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
