This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
