Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
