He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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