census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
