i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have post one night stand depression
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
