when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize