This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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