and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
