it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
