you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My life is pants optional.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
