I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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