We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
