I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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