So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
