Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
