I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize