is your mom at the bar?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
