i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
