Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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