Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize