did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
