kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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