She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
