Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Everyone says I win the strip club
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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