i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
