the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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