Will you blow on my dice?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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