Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so let's talk penis.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
