my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
