dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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