Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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