Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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