I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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