You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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