this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
