I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
