That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
