Cold hands, warm shart.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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