talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize