are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
