He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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