Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
