yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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