Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
