Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
this is an emotional support booty call
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
