you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize