We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
