I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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