So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
