they need to just BURY HIM!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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