I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
