please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
