But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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