Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
