It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
