Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
