I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
