once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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