It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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