i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize