i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
