They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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