69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize