it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
