obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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