we're blogging at a bar
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
