Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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