Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
