i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
