I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
