i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
